Sea Changers' Reflections - More in-depth reflections from Sea Changers

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Q What drew you to Sea Change and what did you expect / most hope for as you prepared to be there?

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"I had seen the advertisement for Sea-Change many times and been drawn to come, yet never felt I was quite in the right place.  Having been through many years of unhappiness in my marriage, then separation, divorce, the stress of financial worries, getting enmeshed in a toxic relationship in which I felt powerless and trapped, I was battling just to survive and 'get through'.  And then ..... I started to notice that I had survived, I was through and out - and somewhere else, which felt good but I had no idea where I really was or what I wanted to do.

 

I had made the decision to retire from the NHS to complete my psychotherapy training, then I was overwhelmed by multiple health problems, none major but my body was clearly telling me I needed to rest, to take stock before going on.  My (Body) therapist spoke of following the flow of nature, of resting and resourcing and seeing it as part of my life cycle - to stop "powering through" - where was I going?   

 

By chance (or was it?) during this time I saw the advertisement for Sea Change again and sent a message, you called, we spoke, you recommended a book to me, A Year by the Sea.  I read it and thought - oh my god, she is writing about ME!"

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Q What do you remember most about the environment / activities?

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"I was honestly drawn to be by water - I love the sea and and everything connected with it, the smell and the sound - the clanking of pulleys in the ropes of the boats as the wind rattles them against the masts, the gulls, the waves; there is something about walking by the sea or the ocean that I find energising yet peaceful, timeless. It puts me in touch with the universe, my sense of something greater than myself which yet includes me.  I dug out my journal from the day we went on the scavenger hunt - I had written of my desires, my curiosity, of wanting to be surprised, of expansion, of being a friend as well as receiving friendship, of finding the line of connection to something bigger than me.  

 

And I wanted to connect with other women - I have had many 'friends' over my life but none of whom I could ever be truly open with.  After my divorce I felt very alone and I wanted new, real connections.  Whilst I did not come to 'make friends' there is something much more open in me since the Sea Change experience that is allowing me to show my vulnerability, to be more confident that I am worthy of friendship and connection, to be able to state my own needs and to trust in new relationships.  Since my time at there I have continued to develop this capacity and am building some strong foundations.

 

I remember most of all the sound of the sea outside my bedroom window, the warm sunshine through the windows of our meeting room, the books, pictures, materials - the space, not just physical but time and emotional space to do as I wished, to share as I wanted to. A precious opportunity to step off the path for a few days and just be."

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Q Did you discover any special book(s) from the Beach Reads list?

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"The most special reading (of a great deal that was very special indeed) is the poem by Mary Oliver - The Journey.  It still makes me cry when I read it - determined to save the only life you could save, that self-hood begins by walking away - stripping away the roles, responsibilities, labels. This and much else impacts on my growing development as a psychotherapist - about knowing myself, putting myself first, that it is not selfish, rather that it is essential.  Of not needing to be anything other than myself, that in this, as with all else, we are in relationship, together.  I am not there to fix, to please, to 'make it better'."

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Q What’s different in your world now that you can trace beck to a Sea Change ‘moment’ / insight?

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"Whenever I look at the welcome card you left in my room, Changing on Aldeburgh Beach, 2007 (three naked ladies on the beach, gloriously windswept and naked) I think of my time there - free, empowered, glorious."

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Q What one item / sight / phrase / feeling / symbol captures your experience of Sea Change for you, and why?

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"The card I drew on  my last day there was Listening ~ listen to your wise self, let your inner compass direct the course of your life.

 

And that's where I am ........"

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Q What drew you to Sea Change and what did you expect / most hope for as you prepared to be there?

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"I was looking forward to the time out to focus on what the next steps in my career were. I was also excited to see how you ran it so I could learn on the coaching front. "

Q What do you remember most about the environment / activities?

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"Loved the scavenger hunt - especially when I noticed we all saw what we needed to. Very interesting.  For me, the wheel of life on the beach and finding my free spirit was wonderful."

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Q What’s different in your world now that you can trace beck to a Sea Change ‘moment’ / insight?

 

"Feeling I can slow down and just be.  That it's ok for life to evolve rather than trying to shape it."

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Q What one item / sight / phrase / feeling / symbol captures your experience of Sea Change for you, and why?

""Finished?" I still have my painting of that boat and answering why I chose the boat and what that said about me uncovered a lot of what was going on for me.  Love being reminded we are all a work in progress."

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